Hi again friends! After what feels like months, I am finally back to blogging and sharing my experiences as a full-time caregiver. There have been lots of reasons for my absence (weddings, getting a new roof on the house, celebrating my mom finally winning her disability case (!!)), but the main reason I’ve been gone is that I am practicing doing a whole lot less.
Over the last three weeks I’ve been doing a whole lot less blogging, less sharing my personal experiences, less going out, and a lot less of other things as well. And that’s not to say that doing less feels rewarding or even enjoyable, but over the last year of my caregiving journey I have learned to accept that I cannot give 100% of myself to everything I want or need to do all the time, which has been the most humbling and equally most empowering lesson of all.
When I started this blog I had every intention of maintaining the posting schedule I’d blocked out in my planner along with touching on the content ideas I’d already brainstormed, but what I began to realize is that while blogging is fun for me, I couldn’t give 100% of my brain power to it while also doing things like home improvement projects and managing my family’s monthly budget. Only giving a portion of my effort to something I am passionate about just didn’t seem fair to myself or to my loyal readers, so in the spirit of quality over quantity, I’ve started doing a lot less and instead focusing all of my attention on just one or two things that I have the capacity to give my all to.
And, just like every recovering perfectionist out there, I’ve caught myself feeling guilty a few times for not sticking to my plan and posting every week. When those feeling pop up I quickly remind myself that, just like anybody’s else’s hobbies, this blog is FOR FUN. There are no standards that I, or anybody else needs to hold themselves to when a hobby is concerned, and there are no goals that I personally need to achieve (except to build community and share resources) through blogging. Research shows that caregivers can experience burnout quickly and at a much higher rate than your average 9-5 employee, and holding myself to any standard beyond “keep mom alive and happy” seems outright unfair given that information.
All in all, I highly recommend doing less in general to anybody, caregiver or not. The lifestyle change has been extremely helpful for me, even with the occasional twang of guilt. However, I do recognize that the decision to slow down and do less is not a viable one for many people with families, careers, and busy schedules, but if you, dear reader, are also thinking “Gee I’d like to do less”, maybe it’s time to try it out wherever and however you can. It could be as simple as choosing not to maintain a Martha Stewart magazine worthy linen closet or letting your leg hair grow out a few days longer before you shave (because it’s 2022 and who cares anyway). There are so many simple ways we can all just do a little bit less.
And, if you are like me and have a habit of holding yourself to the highest standard imaginable, try to recognize that there are very few standards in life we truly NEED to maintain. We can generally get by comfortably while doing much less than we have been conditioned to do, and even if that is uncomfortable at first, it can be extremely beneficial in the long run.
The Millennial Caregiver 