5 Practical Ways to Fill Your Cup as a Full-Time Caregiver

We’ve all heard the saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, right? It applies to everybody; Even caregivers who are sometimes asked to put their own needs on the back burner in order to provide care for someone else first. It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of constant sacrifice until we look in the mirror and realize we haven’t brushed our hair in three days and we’re still in our pajamas at 4pm. So the question is “What fills your cup?”

Self care becomes even more important when we begin caring for others, and finding simple ways to work in activities that fill our own cup isn’t nearly as intimidating as it sounds with a little planning! Here are a few ways I work self care into my busy schedule as a full-time caregiver:

1. Routine, routine, routine! Not all self care is spa nights and chick flicks. Sometimes it means sitting down and planning out a realistic routine and following it every day, even if I don’t want to. My routine includes the “have to’s” but it also includes a couple of hours each day for different self care activities and time for things I enjoy doing- Bonus points if it’s something you can do with your loved one! Living by a simple routine can be especially helpful for those living with cognitive difficulties because our brains and bodies begin to recognize habits after a few weeks of consistency, which reinforces the routine even further and can help prevent moments of confusion and frustration in the future.

2. Wake up early. All caregivers know there is no guarantee our day will stay on schedule no matter how hard we try, so carving out time exclusively for ourselves is a must. For me, this means waking up early to prioritize myself. 5:30am – 8:30am is my quiet time to use however I need. It’s not an easy habit to form and sometimes I decide to sleep in for an extra hour because it’s what my body needs, but waking up early gives me the chance to slowly start my day on my own terms. Most mornings that looks like quietly drinking coffee and doing the day’s Wordle, checking my planner, skincare and a shower, and other daily essentials all before it’s time to get my mom’s day started.

3. Diet is everything. There is more and more research available that links gut health to mental and emotional health. Those of us living with depression (which is most caregivers and the people we care for) can benefit from consciously eating for our gut health. In our kitchen, we incorporate a lot of fermented foods, pre and probiotics, and high fiber foods in our diet. Because I’m home with mom for every mealtime, I take advantage of the option to cook healthy meals daily (which checks two boxes for me because I love to cook). And if you don’t love cooking, have no fear! There are lots of healthy ready-to-eat options available at the grocery store like kefir, yogurt (as long as it’s not loaded with added sugar), sauerkraut, pickles, kimchi, kombucha (watch for sugar here, too), and tons more!

4. Get physical! Prioritize time for exercise and your future self will thank you for it, even if it means being up before dawn or in the gym at 10pm. For me, it’s starting my mornings with yoga because I can do it at home! Being a caregiver can be pretty chaotic, and I love that yoga helps strengthen my muscles while centering my focus and clearing my mind all at once. When mom was discharged from the hospital one of the first things we did together was get her a yoga mat so that she could join me. At first she was skeptical because she was only able to sit and stretch, but even that was an improvement from being confined to a hospital bed. Slowly, sitting and stretching turned into regaining some of the loss of balance associated with brain trauma and cognition difficulty. My personal tip for getting physical is exercising before everybody else is awake, even if it feels like Hell at first.

5. Ask for help. Learning how and when to put my pride aside and ask for help has been the biggest challenge, but also the most beneficial lesson in caregiving. This can mean asking for help from a therapist (which I highly recommend for anybody, but especially caregivers), a sibling or friend, or asking for financial help from public resources like SNAP or Medicaid. Full-time caregiving is a demanding job that usually requires much more than 40 hours per week without pay, and having something or someone to lean on when there isn’t enough time in the day is an unexpendable resource.

Of course, self care looks different for everybody- What fills my cup may not be what fills yours, and that’s ok! The point is to do the things that bring fulfillment into our lives simply because we enjoy them and they benefit us. There is much more to say about taking care of ourselves as full-time caregivers, but these are some of the first steps I took during my caregiving journey that made an immediate and noticeable difference in the level of fulfillment and happiness I got out of my day.